The best thing the Marine Corps does for a young man or woman is give them the ability to remain cool, calm and collected in the face of adversity or chaos. It is the hallmark of the Marine Corps: the individual Marine’s ability to get the mission done at all costs. When every Marine does his or her job, the organization as a whole succeeds. For the last 13 years, when things have become chaotic in my life, my response has been to say “it will be alright” and then get to work.
Over the last year, my family and I have been on a journey towards the missions field. The journey has been exciting, difficult, revealing and spiritually enriching. I can honestly say that at no point had I felt like this was too big for us. I had not felt overwhelmed. At no point, that is, until last week. For the first time in this journey, I doubted if this was really the will of God. I could no longer say, “it will be alright.” I could no longer deceive myself and others by calling my own effort an act of faith.
I sat in my office in near tears wondering why we had not chosen an easier route into this new life. I was about to be out of a job for the first time since joining the Marine Corps 13 years ago and I would have to spend a large portion of my time raising money for the mission and not replacing my lost salary. Health insurance was going to cost us roughly $800 per month. Some of the churches on which we were depending for support were running into denominational hurdles. Our timetable seemed too optimistic considering how much work still needed to be done. There was only one thing that I could do at this moment of doubt — call on God.
It seems obvious that calling on God would be a continuous action but the fact is my Marine Corps mentality was in the way. I’m a planner. Every obstacle can be overcome if we formulate a plan of attack. Every difficult situation is just another opportunity to lead. Rely on me, I’ll get us through this. How arrogant I can be.
All throughout scripture we see how God constantly called on the people of Israel to depend on Him. The whole purpose of the various Sabbaths were to show the people that He would provide for them even as they stopped working for their own sustenance. I’ve seen the faithfulness of God before. Through three deployments, God has taken care of my family. Through the birth of three children, God has taken care of us. Through the death of my father, God has healed my broken heart. Through my brother’s hospitalization, God has given us the necessary strength. Through the constant moves, God’s providence has taken us right where we needed to be. The Lord has proven himself faithful even when we doubted him.
After praying that morning, I felt a bit more at ease and went on with my work. I truly believed that God would get us through and I was trusting that God would use these trials to strengthen us for the journey. A couple of hours after praying, I received a phone call from our missions agency. They wanted to feature our family in a video detailing our journey from the point of answering the call to go to actually arriving and beginning the work. The reason we were chosen for this was because they see how God is working in our journey. I’m hearing this only 2 hours after doubting the very same. All I could do was thank God for being so loving to give me that confirmation of His will.
A couple of hours after that I called my mom to say hi and she told me that my home church, the church where I was saved and baptized as a teenager, had met and resolved to adopt us as their missionary family. I was blessed with the opportunity to preach there in March and now they were going to join the wonderful group of people whom God has called to partner with us. I thanked God once again for His provision and for this second confirmation of His will.
I was feeling pretty good on the way home. God had really decided to bless me with the peace and comfort that comes with knowing we were in his will. I was filled with joy and ready for the next step in the journey. Then, the phone rang. My wife had a doctor’s appointment that morning. She informed the doctor that this would most likely be her last time at the office as we would not be purchasing health insurance after my exit from the military; the expense was too great and it would deplete the savings we had set aside for this time. The doctor, a devout Catholic, walked out of the office for some time. He came back in, looked at my wife and said, “as my way of supporting this mission, please know that I will see your family anytime you need to be seen and I will not charge you a dime. God bless you.”
What else is there to say? I’m humbled that He would be pleased to encourage me. We have been blessed beyond belief and now, when the trials do come, I will be still and know that He is God.